Spiritual practices and spiritual encouragement

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Sins of the Fathers?

Does God punish innocent children to the third and fourth generations for the sins of the fathers?

Last week, someone asked several questions about children being punished for their parents’ wrongdoings, including whether events in Jewish history were examples of this and whether he should be concerned that he’ll suffer for his parents’ and grandparents’ sins.

What did God mean when he told the Israelites he would punish the children for the sins of the fathers to the third and fourth generation?

The second of the Ten Commandments says this:

You shall have no other gods before me. You shall not make for yourself an idol in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below. You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the fathers to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me, but showing love to a thousand [generations] of those who love me and keep my commandments. Exodus 20:3-6

Painting of Israelites worshipping golden calf

“The Adoration of the Golden Calf” by Nicolas Poussin

If the head of a household worshipped false gods, typically his descendents would join in that idolatry. The successive generations would be punished for committing the sins they learned from parents. (Exodus 34:6-7; Numbers 14:18; and Jeremiah 32:18 are similar.) Douglas K. Stuart wrote:

In other words, God will not say, “I won’t punish this generation for what they are doing to break my covenant because, after all, they merely learned it from their parents who did it too.’ Instead, God will indeed punish generation after generation (‘to the third and fourth generation’) if they keep doing the same sorts of sins that prior generations did. If the children continue to do the sins their parents did, they will receive the same punishments as their parents.”

Stuart goes on to point out that “‘Third and fourth’ is idiomatic in Hb. for ‘whatever number’ or ‘plenty of.’” [ref]Douglas K. Stuart, New American Commentary – Volume 2: Exodus, (Nashville, TN: Broadman & Holman, 2006), WORDsearch CROSS e-book, 454.[/ref]

That this verse does not mean innocent children will be punished is supported by Deuteronomy 24:16: “Fathers shall not be put to death for their children, nor children put to death for their fathers; each is to die for his own sin.”

Is the Babylonian captivity an example of the sins of the fathers being visited upon children?

The children who were exiled or born in exile endured the consequences of their parents’ sins: they could not live in the Promised Land during the exile. Moses warned of this consequence for persistently rejecting God, but also promised when a generation confessed their sins and their fathers’ sins, God would restore them to the land (Leviticus 26:39-42).

During Babylon’s siege against Judah, people quoted a proverb showing their belief that they were being punished for their ancestors’ sins, not their own. Ezekiel 18 addressed their error at length:

The word of the LORD came to me: “What do you people mean by quoting this proverb about the land of Israel: ‘The fathers eat sour grapes, and the children’s teeth are set on edge’? As surely as I live, declares the Sovereign LORD, you will no longer quote this proverb in Israel. For every living soul belongs to me, the father as well as the son—both alike belong to me. The soul who sins is the one who will die. Ezekiel 18:1-4

God said if a man is righteous, he will live (18:5-9). If he has a wicked son, the son will die (18:10-13). If the wicked man has a righteous son, the son will live (18:14-18). The Israelites complained that the righteous son should share his father’s guilt, but God said no, only the wicked man will die for his wickedness (18:19-20). Additionally, if a wicked man repents, he will live, but if a righteous man becomes wicked, he will die (18:21-29).

Through Jeremiah God said that after the exile, people would finally stop quoting that proverb and realize people die for their own sin (Jeremiah 31:29-30).

Despite the people’s wish to believe that they themselves didn’t deserve punishment, in actuality, the generations had increased in wickedness as they learned their parents’ sins and added to them until God finally said, “Enough.” The exiled generation ignored the prophets’ warnings against child sacrifice to Molech, the highly sexualized worship of Canaanite gods, gross mistreatment of the poor, and blatant injustice.

Note that the exile happened in three stages: 605 BC, 597 BC, and 586 BC (when Jerusalem was destroyed). The exiles returned in 536 BC, just 50 years after the last deportation. Many first generation children saw the restoration.

Is the destruction of Jerusalem in AD 70 an example of children being punished for their parents having crucified Jesus 40 years earlier?

No, the Jews that died in the Great Jewish Revolt against Rome were not being punished for Jesus’ crucifixion, but for their own rejection of Jesus as Messiah.

Moses had warned the Israelites that God would one day raise up a prophet like him and they must listen to him, or they would be called to account (Deuteronomy 18:15, 18, 19). The apostles reminded the Jews of this and warned them they would be cut off if they rejected Jesus as Messiah (Acts 3:22-23).

In AD 66, Jews in the provinces of Galilee and Judah revolted against Rome. They were led by the Zealots, a Jewish sect which taught the Messiah would come when the Jews were righteous enough to deserve the Messiah; the righteousness they demanded included rejecting all other human governance. They refused to pay taxes and assassinated Roman officials.

An initial victory led many Jews to join the Zealots in their revolt. Those who revolted rejected Jesus as Messiah and sought from among their own a Messiah who would establish an earthly kingdom free from Roman rule. As Rome crushed the revolt, the Zealots assassinated Jews who didn’t give them their full support, preventing them from surrendering. Rome destroyed Jerusalem and the temple in AD 70 and finished putting down the revolt in AD 75. The Jews entered exile again.

Are we destined to endure divine retribution of some sort of pain, suffering, and physical death here on earth because of some of the sins committed by our fathers or grandfathers?

No, absolutely not. We sometimes suffer the consequences of our parents’ sins: a gambler may lose his house and plunge his family into poverty. We sometimes learn and repeat the sins our parents teach us, bringing more consequences and even discipline. But we won’t endure divine retribution for our ancestors’ wickedness.

Besides, “in Christ” all of this is irrelevant anyway because when we’re “born again,” we’re born into God’s family.

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. ~2 Corinthians 5:17

 

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Shine by Scrubbing Spiritual Grime

Twice I stopped dicing onions and alerted my husband he was blocking my light. Wondering if a fluorescent bulb in the kitchen ceiling fixture had gone out, he climbed atop a chair and carefully removed the first of two lighting panels. As he lowered it to the ground, the light in the room doubled. It turned out that the aged, yellowed panel now blocked more light than it diffused.

Painting of sunrise

From “Joy Comes in the Morning” by Rae Jones

When he removed the second panel, we found two more problems: One bulb was indeed dead, and the other barely glowed from its failing electrical ballast.

In the morning as I started tidying in the increased light, I noticed the cobalt blue mixer which usually blended in to the royal blue walls now stood out. But it didn’t shine. I examined it closely and found—ugh—a thin grimy film previously invisible.

I scrubbed nearly the entire kitchen while Clay replaced light fixtures, bulbs, and lighting panels. Four pots of hot, soapy water and half a cup of bleach later, the kitchen sparkled under the new, bright lights.

The old lights had dimmed so gradually over eighteen years that I’d no idea how much light we’d lost.

Which is exactly what can happen in our spiritual lives: We can drift from God’s light so slowly that we don’t realize we no longer see clearly the spiritual grime that needs cleaning.

Spiritual Grime

Jesus said people who fear light exposing bad deeds stay out of the light, but those who live by truth come into the light (John 3:20-21). Part of walking in light and truth is admitting our sins to God and receiving his forgiveness and purification:

If we claim to have fellowship with him yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live by the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin. If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.
1 John 1:6-9

Though God cleanses us when we in faith turn to Jesus as Savior and Lord, as we traverse this world, our feet get dirty and need regular washing. That’s why Jesus told Peter, “The one who has bathed does not need to wash, except for his feet, but is completely clean” (John 13:10).

Five Ways to Walk in Light

How do we walk in the light so we know when our feet need cleansing?

1. Examine Life under Scripture’s Light

Just as I examined my counter accoutrements under good light, so I can examine my life under Scripture’s light. When I read what pleases and displeases God, I can reflect on how well my life matches. For instance, when I read Paul’s Colossians 3:8-9 list of what to dispose of—anger, rage, malice, slander, filthy language, and lying—I can pause at each to consider if they’re MIA.

2. Bring Weaknesses to God Daily

Because stainless steel surfaces show fingerprints even in dim light, I know they need extra attention and I polish them almost daily. Likewise, in my daily prayers, I can bring before God my weaknesses that need extra attention, praying, “See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting” (Psalm 139:23).

3. Confess Sins Immediately

We all know it’s important to wipe up spills as soon as they happen. Similarly, we should address anything we notice wrong immediately. For example, the instant we have an envious thought, we can confess it and replace it with thanksgiving for what we have. The Apostle John said, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9). Confessing immediately is like wiping up a spill as soon as we see it.

4. Get Help from Experienced Mentors

Our 25-year old countertop tiles are cracked and the grout is chipped and discolored beyond bleach’s power. While we could retile ourselves, rather than continuing to battle grout, we plan to hire an experienced installer to put in a solid surface. In the same way, if we continue to battle a particular weakness, it may be time to get experienced help in the form of an accountability partner, a counselor, or an addiction recovery program.

5. Rejoice in God’s Mercy

After I finished scrubbing my kitchen under the bright new lights, I stood back and admired how the mixer and glass canisters sparkled. In the same way, when we’ve acknowledged and repented of our sins, we should recognize that God has forgiven us and washed us clean.

We should never try to punish ourselves because that shows a lack of faith that Jesus’ work on the cross was enough to cleanse us. Nor should we berate ourselves as bad, for God said, “Do not call anything impure that God has made clean” (Acts 10:15). We should accept God’s forgiveness and move forward. After all, “whoever lacks” virtue, godliness, etc.,  “is so nearsighted that he is blind, having forgotten that he was cleansed from his former sins” (2 Peter 19).

The blood of Jesus purifies us from all sin. That’s something to rejoice about!

How do we stop drifting from God's light where we can see spiritual grime? Share on X
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The Sea Monster of Envy

Angry, I marched into my co-worker’s gray cubicle and ducked behind its low wall so I wouldn’t be overheard. “They promoted the less-qualified person just because they promised her before we were hired.”

Painting of sea monter by Justin Sweet

"The Eye of Charon" by Justin Sweet. Copyright Justin Sweet. Used by permission.

Her brows furrowed. “Don’t say that! You don’t know their criteria.”

I winced—she was right.

While it was true that the director had told me I was more technically skilled than the gal he’d promoted and his decision was based partly on the VP’s prior promise to the team’s senior member, he also said that those weren’t the only factors considered. He gave me a promotion and raise (“The technical tract is just as important as the managerial tract,” he said), but that didn’t mollify my disappointment much because, frankly, covetousness had seeped in like brackish water and a swirling green serpent now swam in its depths.

We’ve all been there, haven’t we? We want something—badly. Perhaps a job promotion we’re sure we’re the best for, or a perfect new something we can’t quite afford, or the shining honor, or the relationship with someone special. We’re sure we deserve it, but someone else gets it instead.

And envy slithers into the cold murky water of craving and lifts its searching eyes.

That’s a problem that needs addressing quickly: “For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice” (James 3:16).

So how do we conquer the sea monster of Envy before its ravenous jaws devour?

1) Repent

Craving what belongs to someone else is coveting, and God’s finger etched “You shall not covet” onto a stone tablet. Envy is sin too because love doesn’t envy (1Co. 13:4). So every time I feel an envious urge, I ask God to forgive both my covetousness and my envy; I pray for his help; and I ask for deliverance from spiritual enemies eager to use my frailty for discord.

2) Dump the “I Deserve More” Attitude

Since God is the ultimate Boss, I know I deserve nothing he doesn’t give me. (Even what I might “deserve” is due only to gifts he’s given me anyway.) Besides, God tells me not to seek earthly honors, but rather to seek honor from him. Phil. 2:3 says, “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.” In my situation, that didn’t mean I should consider my new boss’s programming skills better than mine (she wasn’t a programmer), but it did mean I should consider her more worthy of honor. I committed myself to respect, honor, and support her.

3) Submit to God

God could have worked it out for me to get the position, but he didn’t. So I submitted to his will and trusted that he had me where he wanted me to be, and when he wanted me elsewhere, he’d work out the details. He promises that if I seek his kingdom and his righteousness first, he’ll give me everything else I need (Mat. 6:33), so I made those my focus. I did the best job I could, and I looked for ways to further his kingdom.

After all, I work for God. Whether I’m successful doesn’t depend on the world’s standard of elevated position, but whether I’m doing my best for God in whatever position I find myself, even if it’s lowly (2Co. 10). After all, Jesus said, “If anyone wants to be first, he must be the very last, and the servant of all” (Mk. 9:34).

4) Don’t Think Too Highly of Myself

We all know people with unjustifiably high opinions of themselves. In humbling times, it’s good to examine whether we’re following Paul’s command: “Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment” (Rom. 12:3). While it was true I had better technical skills and a mite bit more management experience, when I thought about it, I realized that didn’t mean I would be better at this job. She definitely had stronger relationships throughout the company, and, well, she took things in stride better than I.

5) Pray for the Success of Those I’ve Envied

When the Babylonians took the Jews captive, Jeremiah told the exiles to pray for the prosperity of their new city, for if it prospered, so would they (Jer. 29:7). What? Pray for the nation whose might they envied despite the fact that the Babylonians were wicked and undeserving? Yes, that’s what God said. I began praying for my new boss to succeed. I quickly learned that praying for the success of someone I’ve envied transforms my attitude.

In fact, while it was important in that secular job, it’s even more important in ministry. God calls each of us to play a part in the big scheme of what he’s doing in the world, and praying for others’ success in what God calls them to do focuses our eyes on God’s kingdom, not our own. After all, that’s our purpose in his kingdom, isn’t it?

Therefore, rid yourselves of all malice and all deceit, hypocrisy, envy, and slander of every kind. ~1 Peter 2:1

What helps you dispel envy?

 

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Spicing Up Bible Reading

I constantly change the way I read my Bible to make it interesting as well as focused on what I think God wants to teach me at the moment. I create plans that ensure I’m reading the entire Bible regularly, but I use different methods that enable me to uncover more gems than I could with any one method. Since I seldom repeat something I’ve done before, I’m always challenged.

Here are some of my favorite tips for dynamite devotions.

1.     Expect insights.

Attitude is important, so I approach Bible study as a privilege, not a chore. It’s sitting down with the God of the universe to discover what he thinks is important for people to know. It’s a chance to know God better and to uncover how to be more Christ-like. I know God gladly gives wisdom to those who seek it from him, so I begin by praying over what I should read and asking God to show me what he wants me to know. Over the years, so many blessings and insights have come through reading God’s words that I eagerly anticipate what he’s got for me.

2.     Seek quality.

Quality is more important than quantity. I don’t try to read the Bible through in a year. I set aside time each day and feel free to slow down my reading whenever I want to meditate deeply on a passage or look up cross-references. I might spend days unpacking a single verse like 2 Peter 1:5. If I’m reading a section with a lot of lists, I may read a few chapters, and then finish up with a Psalm.

3.     Mark the TOC.

Although I’ve read the Bible straight through a number of times, I usually don’t. Instead, I choose a study method for the next read-through (for example, reading all the books of the Bible with all their commentary notes in a particular study Bible). When I complete a book using that method, I put a symbol next to its name in the table of contents. This lets me go in any order and allows me to vary what I’m doing without losing my place.

4.     Intersperse memory refreshers.

My memory fuzzes quickly, so every few months I break from in-depth study and interject quick refreshers. For instance, I’ll quickly read through Paul’s letters or an Old Testament prophet before returning to whatever more in-depth study I’m doing.

Illuminated "L" in Genesis Bible Reading

Wenceslas Bible, 1389, from freechristimages.org

5.     Read a gospel every Easter.

I began this tradition many years ago and love it. Two or three weeks before Easter, I begin reading a gospel, timing it so that I finish the gospel on Easter Sunday. It prepares my heart for Resurrection Day and fixes Jesus’ sacrifice in my mind.

6.     Change views.

I like to alter my approach to individual books, especially my favorites. For example, I’ve read the book of Job many times in many ways. Once I made extensive notes on “How Not to be a Job’s Comforter.” Another time I analyzed each of his friends’ arguments for underlying beliefs. Since God said three of Job’s friends misspoke, in another study I listed their mistakes. Still another time I observed the flow of Job’s tumbling thoughts as he sought to make sense of hardship at a time when there was little written revelation, comparing them to my own thoughts when I’m searching for answers in a confusing time.

7.     Get historical.

Often I’ll pick a time period and read all the Bible books concerning that time period in semi-chronological order. This historical perspective aids understanding immensely, especially for the prophetic books. Once I read all the books written during the Persian Empire while reading a history of Persia. Reading Paul’s journeys in Acts chronologically with his letters is insightful! Both chronological and study Bibles are big helps in putting together chronologies while Bible reading.

8.     Ask questions.

As I read, I ask many questions. I try to uncover what’s important in the passage and what it should mean for my life. I look for themes. Additionally, I ask why it was important that what I am reading be in the Bible and what it tells me about God. When I read the Old Testament, I consider what New Testament passages relate to it; and when I read the New Testament, I ponder what Old Testament stories illustrate it. But most important, I ask what’s the most important lesson I should apply to my life today and how can I make it happen.

9.     Research topics.

Asking questions often peaks my curiosity enough that I want to study a topic that’s mentioned in lots of places in the Bible, like heaven. Though I often study just what the Bible says about a topic, sometimes I investigate further; for example, when considering Bible references to yeast, I checked out a library book on yeast. Often, noticing a lack in my life will lead to studying how to meet it. For instance, in high school a friend told me I lacked tact; I didn’t know what the word meant, but when I found out, I decided to see what the Bible had to say (lots, by the way). More recently, I compared and contrasted the apostles’ methods for sharing the gospel with different audiences. Both Bible software and a good Bible concordance help greatly with topical studies.

10.   Illustrate.

Visualizing greatly increases understanding. Study Bibles and commentaries often have charts. If I can’t find a chart for something I’m curious about, I make one. For instance, I’ve charted out all the kings’ relationships with God, their dynasties, and how they died (did you know nine of the northern kingdom’s twenty kings were assassinated?). I often create timelines so I can see how events relate or which descendants a patriarch likely knew. I sketch scenes to bring details to life. The archaeological photographs found in illustrated commentaries and encyclopedias help immensely; so do detailed maps.

***

There you have it: ten tips for making personal Bible study tantalizing.

So what are some of your favorite tips?

Reflect on what I am saying, for the Lord will give you insight into all this. 2 Timothy 2:7

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Photo of Illuminated Bible is from freechristimages.org.  

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Jesus & the Timid Woman

What can we learn from Jesus about making people feel valued, especially in small groups? Plenty—especially from the way he treated a woman too shy to speak to him.

She wasn’t ready to open up

Jesus was on his way to heal the daughter of an important man, Jairus. Jairus was a synagogue ruler, while this woman hiding in the crowd hadn’t been to synagogue in twelve years. She couldn’t—not with this bleeding problem that made her “unclean.” Any place she sat became unclean too, so she didn’t get out much.

She couldn’t get up the nerve to talk to Jesus. After all, who would be interested in a penniless woman who wasn’t the daughter of anyone special?

The crowd pressed all around him. She really shouldn’t have been there in her state, but she longed for healing. She’d been ostracized for so long. She needn’t bother him, after all: she’d just slip in from behind, touch his cloak—that’s all it would take, she was sure—and then disappear among the multitude. No one would notice.

But someone did.

Jesus felt power going out of him and knew someone had touched him and been healed, someone who wouldn’t venture to ask for healing. But healing her physically wasn’t enough. He turned and called out, “Who touched my clothes?”

She didn’t answer. Perhaps she froze in confusion, thoughts racing through her mind. Will he be angry I touched him when I’m unclean? Jairus and all the important people must be furious at this delay! What will everyone think if I speak up?

Talkative people exuberantly move from one subject to another

Not hearing an immediate answer, Jesus’ disciples wanted to move on. But Jesus didn’t. He kept looking around.

She finally spoke up, shaking with fear. She may have stumbled over her words, felt the warmth of a blush on her face, winced as it turned to red-hot burning.

Jesus listened to the whole story: she had bled for twelve long years and spent all her money on doctors, but only gotten worse. When she heard Jesus was near, she thought if she could just touch his clothes, she could be free without bothering him. She had touched his cloak and felt healed immediately.

Jesus gave her his full attention, as if he thought her words important. This made the crowds acknowledge her and give her their full attention too. Everyone is looking at me! She glanced up and saw gentle eyes, eyes that bade her talk. And a kind smile that told her all was well. She locked her eyes on his.

People blossom when they feel valued & accepted

After Jesus listened, he called her “daughter”! Yes, “daughter.” She who hadn’t been the daughter of someone important like a synagogue ruler, was now being called daughter by this great man. What did it mean?

He said her faith had healed her and to go in peace. So he wasn’t mad. No, he was pleased she had approached him. She, a woman of no consequence who dared but touch his garment unnoticed, had been noticed, healed, and freed.

She smiled shyly and looked around. She saw compassion in the faces of tenderhearted people. She hadn’t expected this.

“Be freed from your suffering,” he said. Yes, she was free. She knew it!  Free not just from sickness, but from feeling alone, forgotten, and inconsequential.

***

If you’re not shy:

  • You can look around—like Jesus did—to find that man standing alone at church and the woman sitting quietly at a gathering.
  • Draw others out and listen to their stories.
  • Let others know they’re family and they’re valued.

If you’re shy:

  • Take heart from Jesus’ tenderness towards the timid woman.
  • The thoughtful statements of the more quiet are often insightful, so go ahead, take courage, and speak.
  • Know that shyness makes you no less valuable: a family needs members with all kinds of gifts, including the quiet gifts.
  • Go in peace, for you matter greatly to Jesus.

If you’re a small group leader:

  • You can imitate Jesus by looking around for the quiet people who take a little longer to speak up and encouraging them with a smile.
  • Help the talkative people not rush ahead when there’s a pause; show you’re not afraid of silence so they won’t be either.
  • Give those sharing your full attention—that shows you value both them and what they have to say; it also encourages others to do the same.
  • Treat all like family—after all, that’s what they are.
  • When people share something self-disclosing, let them know later privately how appreciative you are and how their courage will help others—it will give them peace and free them from the second guessing that all but the most self-assured feel.

At once Jesus realized that power had gone out from him. He turned around in the crowd and asked, “Who touched my clothes?” “You see the people crowding against you,” his disciples answered, “and yet you can ask, ‘Who touched me?’“ But Jesus kept looking around to see who had done it. Then the woman, knowing what had happened to her, came and fell at his feet and, trembling with fear, told him the whole truth. He said to her, “Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be freed from your suffering.” ~Mark 5:30-34 

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Speaking the Truth in Love

My friend Moshelle Carlson gave a talk last week about speaking the truth in love to family and friends with whom we have enduring relationships. It was based on principles she learned from her training as a premarital counselor.

Haman, King Xerxes and Queen Esther at Esther's banquet
Rembrandt’s “Ahasuerus and Haman at the Feast of Esther,” 1660 (public domain)

It wasn’t just her insights and clear illustrations that grabbed me (though these were impressive): it was the way she hooked her points into a familiar story from the book of Esther, thus making them easy to remember. Moshelle doesn’t blog, so she let me write a summary.

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Remember God changes hearts, not you

Queen Esther was in what seemed an impossible situation. King Xerxes (also known as Ahasuerus) had signed an edict allowing the Jews’ enemies to annihilate them. She needed to talk to the king, but he hadn’t called for her in a month. To approach him without being called brought the death penalty—unless the king extended his gold scepter to her. Esther couldn’t change the heart of King Xerxes. In fact, as the story progresses, we discover that God moved invisibly behind the scenes to prepare his heart to receive her message.

If we don’t remember that only God changes hearts, we may speak too quickly because we’re trying to change someone. Or we may not speak at all because we’re convinced the situation is impossible and the person won’t listen.

Pray and perhaps fast

Before Esther approached the king, she fasted three days—she didn’t send up an arrow prayer. She asked those close to her to fast too.

Because only God changes hearts, we must pray and sometimes even fast before approaching someone. Bathing a situation in prayer causes us to rely on God to work. It also prepares us for what God might want to change in us.

Make sure the needs of the other person are met first

Dressed in royal robes, Esther stood in the palace’s glittering inner court and waited. Xerxes saw her, was pleased, and held out the gold scepter, thus sparing her life and allowing her to approach. When he asked what she wanted, she didn’t blurt everything out immediately. Instead, she asked him to a banquet where they could feast and then talk. They’d been apart a month, so they needed to reconnect before tackling a tough topic.

She invited him to a relaxing banquet. After dining, the king asked again what she wanted. Perhaps fasting had prepared her so she could sense the time wasn’t right.  She delayed answering and invited him to another banquet the next day, promising to tell the king her wish then. It was between the two banquets that God worked and prepared the king’s heart for her words. The king, unable to sleep, had a record of his reign read to him and so discovered he had never rewarded Esther’s cousin for uncovering a treacherous and treasonous plot.

When we need to speak the truth in love to someone, we should make sure their needs are met first. If the other person’s tired or feeling overworked, it’s not a good time. If either person feels rushed, the moment’s not right—speaking the truth in love requires plenty of uninterrupted time to listen, talk, clarify, and make sure there are no misunderstandings. Meeting their needs shows our intentions come from love.

Speak with love

At the second banquet, Esther waited for the king to ask her what she wanted. When she answered, she didn’t blame him or attack his decisions, even though he was the one who had signed the decree. She didn’t say, “What’s wrong is the way you listen to lame friends and then make stupid decisions!” Instead, she honored him by saying, “If it pleases you.” She respected him by explaining, “I wouldn’t have bothered you if it were just that my people had been sold into slavery.” She stated her desire simply: “Grant me my life and spare my people.” When the king asked who had endangered her life, she pointed to Haman, the instigator of the plot, but not the king.

In the same way, we need to speak to people in a loving, respectful manner, explaining the facts accurately, but without attacking, and making our requests kindly, with an “if it pleases you” attitude.

Then the king asked, “What is it, Queen Esther? What is your request? Even up to half the kingdom, it will be given you.” “If it pleases the king,” replied Esther, “let the king, together with Haman, come today to a banquet I have prepared for him.” ~Esther 5:3-4

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Harrowing Heights

Heights don’t usually affect me. But a week ago Sunday on the way home from Arizona, we got caught in an I-10 closure. We decided to swap the 5-hour crawl for a 2-hour adventure. We turned our dusty CRV around and headed back to Palm Springs. There we found a bougainvillea-lined alternate route (Hwy. 74) leading from flat sandy desert to towering mountain peaks. Why not? We had 4-wheel drive.

A different plunging view

The serpentine climb steepened quickly. I smiled—until we rounded a shoulder-less hairpin turn and I glanced down. Just beyond the dented silver guardrail, a dizzying plunge of speckled red rock set my heart racing.

I quickly looked away. Although I wasn’t driving, I kept my eyes on the road through the rest of the tight switchbacks, many of which lacked guardrails. Finally, the road broadened enough to allow for rocky shoulders and it felt safe enough to look around.

The route was stunning. Crimson blossoms topped bronzed foliage; tiny lemon-yellow flowers danced on gray-green stems; and withered cactus flowers waved atop tall spires. These suddenly gave way to pine trees with prickly needles looking like green pins protruding from brown pincushions. Once over the range, the road wound down among broadleaved trees and sprawling cattle ranches. At dusk we entered the lush horse and wine valley of Temecula. An hour later we pulled into our driveway, watched the aging garage door creak open, parked, and stepped out of the car onto stiff, aching legs. We were home in time for dinner.

Life can sometimes take us on an adrenaline-rushing detour with harrowing heights where we must keep our eyes focused, not on the path, but on the One who knows the path and leads the way.

I remember one such side trip when my husband Clay was diagnosed as having an aggressive form of cancer.

Foolishly, I Googled the hospital’s diagnosis and read it had 100% fatality within two years. That was a hairpin turn with a harrowing drop. I closed my browser. Clay had to back out of a teaching contract that conflicted with surgery, and finances became another potential plummet. In fact, we maneuvered through one tricky turn after another.

I had to fix my eyes on Jesus and deal with each day’s challenges as they came, forgetting about the earthly future and keeping in mind eternal hope.

Clay will write on his ordeal one day, so all I’ll say now is that the first diagnosis was mistaken: the cancer was slow growing and treatable. He’s been cancer-free now for eight years.

As on the road trip, once we were over the highest mountaintop, the scenery changed quickly and often. Another employer offered Clay work he could do from home as he recuperated. It took time to recover financially, but we managed. The cancer gave his writing and teaching on why God allows evil greater authority—the fertile valley unseen from the backside of the initial peaks.

We haven’t reached our ultimate destination yet—that won’t happen in this lifetime. But we will be there in time for dinner.

Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. ~Hebrews 12:2

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Our Exiles

Barren desertIn 586 BC, the walls protecting Jerusalem fell to Nebuchadnezzar, ruler of Babylon. Nebuchadnezzar torched the temple of God and deported the remaining inhabitants to Babylon. The people of Israel lost their land, their temple, and their kingdom.

And they cried out, Why?

When we examine the lives of the people forced to endure the fall of Jerusalem and exile, sometimes through no fault of their own, we glean from them how God wants us to act in our personal times of exile—times when we, like the people of Israel, are pushed out of home, marriage, family, friendships, job, or ministry; times when must leave the familiar and embrace the strange; times when we suffer a loss of identity and purpose. When we look carefully, we begin to understand why, in the big picture, God allows times of despair and loss in our lives. We see the hope of restoration that God offered Israel, and offers us today. For in the midst of great calamity, God was able to tell His people:

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future—Jeremiah 29:11

Heroes

The prophets forewarned that the bloodshed and oppression abounding in the kingdom would lead to its fall. While the overwhelming majority of the kingdom had abandoned God and His ways, there were some who remained faithful, but were nonetheless affected by the consequences of others’ actions.

From dire times heroes can emerge, and the exile had its share. These courageous champions passed through great difficulties, but God used each mightily as they faithfully served Him in their time of trouble.

Daniel was pulled from his home as a youth and compelled to live with strangers. Later, co-workers jealous of his professional successes tried to bring him down, but his righteousness and faith in spite of hardship brought renown to both himself and God.

Ebed-melech risked everything to stand up to authorities and rescue the persecuted (Jeremiah 38-39).

Ezekiel was on the verge of entering the profession he had spent 30 years preparing for when he was forced to move to a new country where that profession was useless. There his beloved wife died. God used him greatly to instruct and comfort others.

Habakkuk cried out to know why God allowed injustice. At first he argued passionately against God’s methods, but came to trust God’s bigger plan to stop wickedness. He encouraged others through song.

Jeremiah suffered for warning others against disobeying God. His beliefs made him so unpopular even his family and friends deserted him. Later, he survived his city’s devastation and comforted others with poetry and a promise of hope.

Josiah reversed many of the wrongs his family had done. He helped many through his zealous reforms and forestalled coming disaster (2 Kings 21-23; 2 Chronicles 34-35).

Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego were friends who obeyed God even when it looked like it might cost them their lives (Daniel 3).

These heroes of faith continue to inspire and encourage through the years when we face our exiles. They remind us that we are not alone in our trials, and they show us how to live courageous faith today.

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Tell Yourself the Truth to Feel Better

Paul described himself as a servant of Christ Jesus, and the Philippians as saints (Phil 1:1). How we choose to think about ourselves affects our peace and joy. Describing ourselves in ways that give us no hope for change—“I’m such a loser”—causes discouragement and robs us of joy. On the other hand, describing ourselves as better than we actually are—“I’m the best employee here”—conflicts with reality and those conflicts disrupt peace.

Bird on multi-colored rose

“Are you not much more valuable than they?” Matthew 6:26

Seeing ourselves the way God sees us gives us hope because we are assured of His acceptance and continued work.

If we forget our calling and put our identity in earthly things—appearance, positions, possessions, proficiencies—we’ll miss our purpose and be subject to fickle circumstances that can snatch those things away. Seeing ourselves as God does—servants of Christ and dearly loved children whom God is bringing to maturity—brings hope, joy, and peace.

What are some of the ways you describe yourself? How does telling yourself these things make you feel? How does it affect your actions?

If you’re telling yourself joy-robbing, peace-disrupting, hope-destroying statements, consider trying two things for a week. First, every time you are about to describe yourself in one of these ways, stop and tell yourself this: “I am a servant of Jesus Christ and a dearly loved child of God; He is completing a good work in me” (1Co. 4:1, Col. 3:12, Phil. 1:6). Repeat this often to yourself, letting the words soak in.

Second, begin memorizing the verses this statement is based upon, beginning with this one:

Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. ~Philippians 1:6

Tell yourself the truth! You’ll feel better.

Adapted from Philippians: Steps to Joy & Peace (forthcoming).

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Work Out Your Salvation?

Paul said, “Work out your salvation with fear and  trembling,” a statement which causes some Christians to fear and tremble. So let’s take a look at it.

Father tutors son

Aerospace engineer Matt teaches son Michael calculus

Doing works does not save us, but true salvation shows itself in works (Eph. 2:8-9). Paul is writing to believers about the outworking of their salvation in their everyday lives, an outworking that will cause them to shine like stars before those who do not yet believe. This labor should be with fear and trembling; that is, reverence and awe that recognizes subservience to Almighty God, that trembles before his power to destroy in hell, and that dares not turn grace into a license for sin.“Do not use your freedom as a cover-up for evil,” Peter tells us, but rather, “fear God” (1Pe. 2:16-17).

Dallas Willard likens God to nuclear power: nuclear power isn’t mean, but should be respected because it’s dangerous. C. S. Lewis explains this respect to children in The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe when Mr. Beaver describes Aslan, the great Lion who is King of Beasts and Son of the Emperor-Beyond-the-Sea: “‘Safe?… Who said anything about safe? ‘Course he isn’t safe. But he’s good. He’s the King, I tell you.’” [ref]C. S. Lewis, The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe (New York: Collier, 1970), 76.[/ref] To fear God is to respect his power and authority, and to therefore obey him. Yet we also have confidence before him because we know “His mercy extends to those who fear him” (Luke 1:50) and he “accepts men from every nation who fear him and do what is right” (Acts 10:35).

Paul says the reason we should work out our salvation is that God works in us “to will and to act according to his good purpose.” Rather than forcing us to obey, God works to give us both the desire and the ability to do what is right. God wants neither robots nor puppets. He wants creatures who freely choose to love and do right.

So how does our working out mesh with God’s working in?

Imagine the son of a mathematician deciding to learn calculus. He cannot learn it on his own: he doesn’t have the skills or knowledge within himself to do it. He turns to his father for help. The father explains the concepts, gives him problems to work, checks the boy’s progress, and arranges lessons to address weaknesses. Finally, the thing is done and the boy has learned calculus. He passes a college level equivalency exam. As a reward, he has college credit, his father’s commendation for doing well, and greater opportunities opened to him.

Can the boy say, “I did it all myself”? Of course not: without his father, he could do nothing. Should the boy say, “It was all my father—I did nothing”? That wouldn’t be true, for a lazy child would have learned nothing and would have received neither reward nor commendation.

So it is with us. Jesus said apart from him we can do nothing, but in him we will bear fruit (Jn. 15:5). We haven’t the skills or knowledge within ourselves to do it on our own. But if we remain in Jesus, our heavenly Father will teach us truth, give us problems to work, check our progress, and address our weaknesses. When fruit begins to grow, we cannot say, “I did it all myself,” for apart from him we can do nothing (1 Cor. 4:7). Yet we do have a part: “Continue to work out your salvation,” Paul says. We must attend to the lessons, work through the problems obediently, and take correction. One day, God will test the quality of our work and reward us accordingly.

Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed—not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence—continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose. ~Philippians 2:12-13

Adapted from Philippians: Steps to Joy and Peace (forthcoming)

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The Choice to Rejoice

Rejoice in the LordRejoicing is something we choose to do. While complaining reveals a rebellious heart, rejoicing shows a gladly submissive heart. Complaining reveals distrust; rejoicing shows complete trust. complaining sees unfulfilled desires as denied rights; rejoicing sees fulfilled desires as undeserved blessings. Complaining is preoccupied with itself, while rejoicing, because it does not consider its own interests a right and considers service a privilege, abounds in looking outward to the interests of others.

Those who fix their eyes on the earth cannot help but complain, for this corrupted world cannot satisfy. Those who fix their eyes on the eternal find their soul’s longing satisfied and cannot help but rejoice.

If choosing to rejoice is not something you’re used to, try this: Every day for the next week, write down ten things for which you’re grateful to God. Then give thanks and take joy in them.

Finally, my brothers, rejoice in the Lord! It is no trouble
for me to write the same things to you again, and it is a safeguard for you. Philippians 3:1

Adapted from Philippians: Steps to Joy & Peace (forthcoming)

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Why God Says No: A 3 Dog Tale

Sometimes God tells us No to test whether our hearts are faithful and obedient.

Dog jumping through hoop

My sister’s dog Kaze obediently jumping through hoops

Imagine a master dog trainer who supplies dogs to the ATF, DEA and police is training a newly hired apprentice.

The trainer points to three calmly sitting dogs and says, “We just received these dogs that received their initial training elsewhere. We’re going to test them to see if they’re suitable for us and, if so, what level of training they should receive next. The unimaginative breeders named them Black Dog, Yellow Dog, and Spotted Dog.”

The trainer calls over Black Dog and tests how he obeys basic commands such as sit, stay, and heel, as well as trickier commands such as back up and growl. Then he tells the apprentice to test Yellow Dog and Spotted Dog. All dogs do well.

The trainer says, “Now test their obedience with food.”

The apprentice tells the dogs to sit. They obey. He opens a bag of kibbles and three dog noses twitch and turn his way as the grainy smell fills the air. He plunges a scoop noisily into the bag and the dogs’ ears perk. He pulls out the scoop full of brown bits and pours them with a clatter into three bowls as three pairs of eyes watch. Yellow Dog licks his chops and taps one forepaw on the floor. Finally the apprentice places the bowls before the dogs and commands, “Take it!” All the dogs leap forward and devour the kibbles in minutes.

The trainer says, “That’s not what I meant. That test means nothing because the dogs are doing what dogs do naturally. I can’t tell whether they’re eating because they’re obeying you or their own cravings.”

The trainer refills the bowls with kibble, commands, “Leave it!” and places the bowls before the dogs. Yellow Dog eats his kibbles, but the others sit quietly.

The master trainer says, “That shows me Yellow Dog may not work for us, but it doesn’t show me how obedient the other two are because their bellies are full. Don’t feed the dogs for 24 hours, and then we’ll test them again.”

After 24 hours, the apprentice brings the dogs to the master trainer. Yellow Dog growls and snaps at him, Spotted Dog whines, and Black Dog is quiet.

The trainer says, “Now test them like I showed you yesterday.”

The apprentice commands, “Leave it,” and places bowls of kibble in front of the dogs. Both Yellow Dog and Spotted Dog eat their kibble. Black Dog sits quietly, and Yellow Dog eats Black Dog’s kibble too.

The trainer says, “Now we know Black Dog is obedient from the heart: she’ll obey even when hungry. Give Yellow Dog away, for she won’t meet our needs. Put Spotted Dog in intermediate training. I’ll take Black Dog for now and reward her with a steak, for her desire to obey her master is greater than her desire to obey her hunger. I have great plans for her.”

And so it is with us. God tests us to expose what’s in our hearts. He gives more training to those who need it. And to those who don’t, He entrusts with greater tasks and rewards with eternal riches.

“In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.” ~1 Peter 1:6-7

“Remember how the LORD your God led you all the way in the desert these forty years, to humble you and to test you in order to know what was in your heart, whether or not you would keep his commands.” ~Deuteronomy 8:2

Related: Why God Says No: To Teach Eternal Purpose

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