Will We Recognize Loved Ones in Heaven?

“Will my husband remember me in heaven?” a grieving widow asked us.  It’s a common question. Indeed, an internet search of “Will we recognize loved ones in heaven” resulted in over 10 million returns.

The concern over loved ones forgetting us comes from Isaiah 65:17:

For behold, I create new heavens and a new earth, and the former things shall not be remembered or come into mind.

Isaiah 65:17

Taken alone, this verse sounds like people’s memories might be erased in the eternal abode. But is that what this verse means?

Will Memories Be Erased So We Won’t Recognize Loved Ones in Heaven?

Let’s look at the context of verse 17.

Forget Can Mean No Longer Bring to Mind in Order to Act Upon

In verses 13-15, the Lord God warns that he will punish the wicked with curses and death, but he’ll reward his servants. Then he says this in verse 16:

The former troubles are forgotten and are hidden from my eyes.

Isaiah 65:16

Notice God says the former troubles are hidden from his eyes—he’s the one forgetting the “former troubles.” In the Bible, when God says he will no longer remember something, he doesn’t mean he gives up his omniscience. Rather, he means he will no longer remember it for the sake of acting on it. After the final judgment, there won’t be any reason to call to mind the sin and the troubles sin brought on this earth.

Since “forgotten” in verse 16 doesn’t mean memory erasure, we can expect the same in verse 17.

Our Former Failures and Troubles Will Fade from Mind

After the final judgment, God will create a new heaven and earth unspoiled by rebellious angels and humans. Gone are all causes of sin and any who don’t love God’s rule. Old Testament scholar Gary V. Smith writes:

This new world with its transformed people will be so completely different that God’s servants will not remember the “former world” (48:13) of sin, suffering, hunger, death, and destruction. In fact, this new world will be so different that even the more positive aspects of the former things will probably fade from memory.

Gary V. Smith, Isaiah 40-66, vol. 15B, The New American Commentary (Nashville, TN: Broadman & Holman Publishers, 2009), 718. Affiliate link.

Gary V. Smith, Isaiah 40-66, vol. 15B, The New American Commentary (Nashville, TN: Broadman & Holman Publishers, 2009), 718.

Just as God will put the failures and troubles of this world out of his mind, so will people. Perhaps the glorious new heavens and earth will soften our memories to something like a dream. We won’t have to recall what we don’t want to recall. But loved ones whom we want to remember? Yes, we’ll know them. That’s because…

The Righteous Are Eternal Beings, Not Former Things

Scholar Edward Young explains what “former things” refers to:

Strictly speaking, the words former things refer to former heavens and earth.

Edward Young, The Book of Isaiah, Chapters 40–66, vol. 3 (Grand Rapids, MI: Wm. B. Eerdmans Publishing Co., 1972), 514. Affiliate link.

Edward Young, The Book of Isaiah, Chapters 40–66, vol. 3 (Grand Rapids, MI: Wm. B. Eerdmans Publishing Co., 1972), 514.

Those belonging to God are eternal beings. They won’t be part of the “former things” that are destroyed and pass from mind. And they’ll recognize loved ones in heaven.

The Bible Teaches Heaven’s Occupants Know Each Other

Other passages shed light on Isaiah 65:17 by showing us that heaven’s occupants retain their memories and recognize people.

Luke 24—After the Resurrection, Jesus Knew People

After Jesus’s resurrection, he recognized his followers and remembered what had happened to him on earth. Our resurrection bodies will be like his, so we can expect to recognize others as well.

Matthew 17:4—Peter Knew Who Moses and Elijah Were

And Peter said to Jesus, “Lord, it is good that we are here. If you wish, I will make three tents here, one for you and one for Moses and one for Elijah.”

Matthew 17:4

At Jesus’s transfiguration, Moses and Elijah appeared and talked to him. Peter knew who they were even though he’d never met them (Matthew 17:4). It stands to reason that we’ll know who others are then, even some whom we haven’t met.

Matthew 8:11—We’ll Know the Patriarchs

Many will come from east and west and recline at table with Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob in the kingdom of heaven.

Matthew 8:11

Jesus said many will recline at table with these three men. Surely the three patriarchs will not be the only people anyone knows. If memories were erased, however, no one would know even these three.

Revelation 14:13—The Deeds of the Righteous Will Follow Them

And I heard a voice from heaven saying, “Write this: Blessed are the dead who die in the Lord from now on.” “Blessed indeed,” says the Spirit, “that they may rest from their labors, for their deeds follow them!”

Revelation 14:13

The Spirit declares the deeds of those who die in the Lord will follow them. That would be impossible if no one remembers them.

Revelation 6:9-11—The Martyrs in Heaven Remember Their Lives

I saw under the altar the souls of those who had been slain for the word of God and for the witness they had borne. They cried out with a loud voice, “O Sovereign Lord, holy and true, how long before you will judge and avenge our blood on those who dwell on the earth?” Then they were each given a white robe and told to rest a little longer, until the number of their fellow servants and their brothers should be complete, who were to be killed as they themselves had been.

Revelation 6:9–11

Here, the martyrs in heaven remember their martyrdom and know that their deaths haven’t been avenged yet. If they remember their lives, they must remember people as well.

Luke 16:22-23—Abraham Knows the Rich Man and Lazarus in Heaven

The poor man died and was carried by the angels to Abraham’s side. The rich man also died and was buried, and in Hades, being in torment, he lifted up his eyes and saw Abraham far off and Lazarus at his side.

Luke 16:22–23

In Jesus’s narrative, the spirit of the dead rich man recognizes Abraham and Lazarus. In verse 25, Abraham tells him to remember both his and Lazarus’s life on earth. This shows not only that people remember their lives in the afterlife, but Abraham knows details of others’ lives as well.

1 Thessalonians 4:13-14, 17—The Living Will Reunite with Dead Loved Ones

In 1 Thessalonians 4:13-14, Paul encourages those who are grieving over loved ones who have died by saying Jesus will bring their loved ones back with him when he returns.

But we do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about those who are asleep, that you may not grieve as others do who have no hope. For since we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so, through Jesus, God will bring with him those who have fallen asleep.… Then we who are alive, who are left, will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air, and so we will always be with the Lord.

1 Thessalonians 4:13-14, 17

“Those who have fallen asleep” are those who have already died. When Jesus returns, he’ll bring them with him. Then those who are still alive will be caught up together with those returning with Jesus. That’s the hope to which Paul says the grieving should cling. What hope would there be in reuniting if we didn’t recognize each other?

Knowledge Increases in Heaven

We won’t be stupider in heaven than we are now.

Attributed to George MacDonald

Memories won’t be erased, causing people to know less than they do now. Rather, knowledge will increase.

For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known.

1 Corinthians 13:12

This doesn’t mean we’ll be omniscient like God. But it does mean we’ll truly know God, his love, and his goodness. We’ll know ourselves clearly too. Additionally, exhaustion, illnesses, and aging won’t limit our thinking. We won’t fool ourselves into believing falsehoods. Neither will we encounter liars. We’ll remember those we knew on this earth and recognize loved ones in heaven and the future earth.

We Will Remember Why Jesus Died for Us

If people’s memories are erased, they’d no longer know what Jesus had done for them. Where would be the gratitude for having been saved from sins? Who would praise God for the mighty things he worked in their lives?

In Luke 7:47, Jesus said that those who have had many sins forgiven love much, “but he who is forgiven little, loves little.” If memories were erased, all would be in the position of loving Jesus little because they wouldn’t know what they’ve been forgiven for.

We will retain the spiritual growth God’s worked in us so far. We’ll understand the good God worked through our sufferings. We will rejoice in salvation because we’ll remember it is a costly and gracious gift we don’t deserve.

Memories Will Not Cause Pain

We will experience God’s perfect love, complete forgiveness, and final justice. Alan Gomes explains:

In the eternal state we will so see things from God’s perspective that we will no longer remember our past hurts and pain as we experienced them, but will see all from the divine vantage point. We will remember that these hurts occurred, but they will no longer ring us pain but rather praise, as we contemplate how God has worked all for good (Rom. 8:28) and brought us “beauty for ashes” and “the oil of joy for mourning” (Isa. 61:3, KJV).

Alan W. Gomes, 40 Questions About Heaven and Hell, 225. Affiliate link.

Alan W. Gomes, 40 Questions About Heaven and Hell, 225.

Additionally, everyone in heaven will have been made perfect (Hebrews 12:23). That means when we see people who sinned against us in this life, they’ll be cognizant of their error, fully repentant, and fully transformed. We’ll see the qualities God has worked in them. Our hearts will be tender towards them, just as they are now when we see someone God has totally transformed. After all, we’ll have fully forgiven those who’ve hurt us, we won’t fear they’ll repeat their actions, and we’ll be transformed too.

We’ll Continue to Grow in Knowledge

Angels are perfect, yet they grow in knowledge (1 Peter 1:12). Likewise, we’ll be made perfect (Hebrews 12:23), yet will be able to continue to learn.

Gomes distinguishes between perfect knowledge and exhaustive knowledge:

We can know something perfectly to the degree that we are capable of knowing it, without thereby knowing it exhaustively. Our knowledge may be “perfect” in the sense that it is fully true as far as it goes, without any admixture of error. Nevertheless, we may still be able to learn even more about the subject, or to develop an appreciation for it in new and different ways.

Alan W. Gomes, 40 Questions About Heaven and Hell, 223. Affiliate link.

Alan W. Gomes, 40 Questions About Heaven and Hell, 223.

We can continue to learn about God, others, and creation for eternity.

Conclusion

Take comfort: We will recognize loved ones in heaven. We’ll rejoice in their transformation and our own. With them we’ll enjoy the glorious new heavens and earth. We’ll be together forever.

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Books You Might Like

Here are affiliate links to three books on heaven.

• Immortal: How the Fear of Death Drives Us and What to Do About It by Clay Jones
• 40 Questions About Heaven and Hell by Alan Gomes
• The Case for Heaven: A Journalist Investigates Evidence for Life after Death by Lee Strobel