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At age 12, I discovered a television soap opera called Dark Shadows. It spellbound me with its tales of witches, vampires, ghosts, and werewolves. I watched it every day after school, drawn to the witches’ power to protect themselves. I didn’t know if witchcraft was real, but I wanted to find out. After all, my mother spoke well of witchcraft and claimed her grandmother in Mexico was a witch.

But after a couple years of watching Dark Shadows, my girlfriend Linda told me she thought I was too obsessed with it. She said I was starting to act like one of the witches. Also, she wasn’t sure whether witchcraft was compatible with Christianity. Hence, she suggested I give it up for Lent as a sign that God was more important to me than the show.

He was, so I did. I wasn’t a Christian yet, but I was searching for God and wanted to please him.

What I Discovered

By the end of the 40 days, I was surprised at how free I felt. Free from the enticing aroma of promised power, security, and granted wishes. Free from the tantalizing scent that captured and kept my attention. And free from murky haze that arose from a bubbling caldron of agitation, one-upmanship, and revenge.

Later, Linda gave me a New Testament. I came to Christ while reading the Gospel of John. Still later, I discovered that the Bible explains that people cannot approach God in their own way. Among the unacceptable worship practices, I found this:

Let no one be found among you who sacrifices their son or daughter in the fire, who practices divination or sorcery, interprets omens, engages in witchcraft, or casts spells, or who is a medium or spiritist or who consults the dead.

Deuteronomy 18:10-11

Linda was right to warn me away from witchcraft!

What Is Lent?

Lent commemorates the 40 days that Jesus fasted in the wilderness. So many observe the time by starting with a day of repentance and continuing by giving up one luxury for 40 or so days, ending around Easter. Some churches have Scripture readings for Lent to help focus believers on the crucifixion and resurrection of Christ.

The churches that observe Lent include Anglican, Eastern and Oriental Orthodox, Lutheran, Methodist, Moravian, Reformed, United Protestant, and Roman Catholic. Even some Anabaptist, Baptist, and nondenominational Christian churches observe it.

Lessons from Lent

After I became a Christian, the churches I attended didn’t observe Lent. Nonetheless, observing it twice under Linda’s guidance taught me some valuable lessons.

1.    Preparing Our Hearts for Easter Benefits Us

Remember how John the Baptist came baptizing to prepare people’s hearts for the coming of Jesus? And remember how Jesus said to take communion in memory of his crucifixion and resurrection?

Preparing our hearts to commemorate the greatest event in earth’s history is highly beneficial. I usually prepare for Easter by reading a Gospel in such a way that the crucifixion falls on Good Friday. This annual focus on Jesus’s gift to us prepares my heart to worship as I commemorate Good Friday and celebrate Resurrection Day.

2.    Fasting Benefits Us

I’m glad Linda didn’t suggest giving up a luxury either year that we observed it together. Both times I gave up something that was consuming time and leading me away from God.

My experience giving up a gripping soap opera was so positive that I’ve continued to incorporate fasts in my life, though not necessarily at Lent or for 40 days. For example, Clay and I sometimes do a 24-hour media fast. We substitute reading the Bible and praying during the time we would have watched the news or a movie. (I’ve encouraged others to try this too. Some who have say they initially found this difficult because they weren’t used to being alone with their thoughts—thoughts they needed to pray through and get comfortable with in Jesus.)

A 24- or 48-hour complaining fast can break that joy-robbing habit. I plan these whenever I notice a grumbling attitude taking hold. Every time I’m tempted to gripe, I give praise and thanks instead.

A 12- or 24-hour food fast is ideal when I need direction or am interceding for a loved one. I use hunger pangs as a reminder to pray for what I’m seeking. If you’re young and healthy, go for a zero-calorie fast. If you’re not, or if you want to go longer than a day or two, consider the fast the elderly Daniel chose:

I ate no choice food; no meat or wine touched my lips; and I used no lotions at all until the three weeks were over.

Daniel 10:3

3.    Fasts Can Break Joy-Killing Habits

Giving up something that has been taking time and attention away from God for 40 days can be freeing. It’s a way to refocus on God and step away from things that rob us of joy and peace.

Consider what things are robbing you of joy and peace now. Might you fast from one for 40 days to transition to a calmer, more God-focused life?

  • Is social media stirring a boiling pot of anger, resentment, jealousy, or sense of failure?
  • Are magazines and catalogues a dark skillet of discontent in which envy and lusts after people, positions, possessions, or pleasures sizzle?
  • Has Internet research become a hot oven in which bakes a steaming casserole of succulent morsels of slander and gossip mixed with the heady spice of self-righteousness?

If so, take a break. Fast from concoctions that taste sweet to the tongue but are bitter to the spirit. Use the time you would have spent on what you’re breaking from to draw close to God. See if at the end of the fast you feel free, peaceful, and renewed in your walk with the Lord.

Conclusion

Lent is an ideal time to prepare for commemorating Jesus’s crucifixion and resurrection. Scripture reading is particularly rewarding. But, as I learned from Linda, fasting from one thing that’s got an unhealthy grip on us can free us and make room for peace and joy to grow again.

But if you suspect you have a joy-killing habit and Easter is a long way off, don’t wait for Lent. Give it up for a predetermined period. You’ll reap the benefits!

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The first sunny Saturday after two weeks of rain, I donned blue gardening gloves, grabbed  weeding fork and  pronged hoe, and headed to the backyard. I found the variegated nasturtiums I’d sown around the now gone summer annuals had sprouted nicely, but so had clumps of dark red oxalis, thick sprigs of mint, and sprays of apple-green asparagus fern.

Complaining needs mattock

Mattock

It’s not that these plants aren’t attractive, but they’re invasive intruders that send underground runners that twist around other plants’ roots, sometimes killing them. They’d have to go, but to painstakingly detangle each from the nasturtiums would take more hours than I had.

I called Clay over to show him the dilemma. He grabbed his mattock (its head is like a heavy hoe on one side and an axe on the other). Five minutes of hacking and thuds sent every plant flying … including nasturtiums. Earthy and minty scents surrounded us. With fingers and hoe, I carefully sifted the soil, removing every bit of root and tuber hiding beneath the surface. Later when we were certain the flowerbed was cleared, we planted a strong-rooted blue-flowered potato bush.

Some parts of our spiritual lives are like flowerbeds that need to have everything pulled so we can plant afresh.

For instance, take complaining. One day while thinking over “Do everything without complaining or arguing” (Philippians 2:14), I realized I’d grumbled a bit the previous few days. Maybe more than a bit—in fact, enough that I knew I needed a big change.

But the problem was some things that fall under the label of complaint are legitimate: sending back an overcooked restaurant rib eye, for instance, or carrying out Jesus’ directives to talk to those who’ve wronged us. Yet complaining is one of those things that always seem right at the moment and only upon reflection appear otherwise.

I knew if I tried to stop just the “bad” complaining, in the nanosecond of deciding whether I should pull what was approaching my lips, I’d make a lot of mistakes.

So I decided to do a 24-hour fast of all complaining, good or bad. Fasting is temporarily giving up something legitimate as a discipline and offering.

I discovered some things:

  • I wasn’t dealing with just a few little sprouts here and there, but deep running roots trying to push out shoots much more often than I thought.
  • Ninety-five percent of the complaints I yanked needed yanking. Ouch.
  • It was harder than I thought and I didn’t quite succeed, so I extended the fast one extra day for more soil sifting. That gave me a cleared plot into which I could plant what was valid.
  • For weeks after the fast I was keenly aware of when I was about to be negative, allowing me to pause and think before speaking.
  • When I did have to address something negative, I sounded less cranky.

The 24-hour complaining fast was so helpful I’ve repeated it throughout the years whenever I’ve noticed grumble weeds growing.

If you’ve never tried a complaining fast before, why not give it a try? Let me know how it goes.

Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe ~Philippians 2:14-15

 

My friend Moshelle Carlson gave a talk last week about speaking the truth in love to family and friends with whom we have enduring relationships. It was based on principles she learned from her training as a premarital counselor.

Haman, King Xerxes and Queen Esther at Esther's banquet
Rembrandt’s “Ahasuerus and Haman at the Feast of Esther,” 1660 (public domain)

It wasn’t just her insights and clear illustrations that grabbed me (though these were impressive): it was the way she hooked her points into a familiar story from the book of Esther, thus making them easy to remember. Moshelle doesn’t blog, so she let me write a summary.

***

Remember God changes hearts, not you

Queen Esther was in what seemed an impossible situation. King Xerxes (also known as Ahasuerus) had signed an edict allowing the Jews’ enemies to annihilate them. She needed to talk to the king, but he hadn’t called for her in a month. To approach him without being called brought the death penalty—unless the king extended his gold scepter to her. Esther couldn’t change the heart of King Xerxes. In fact, as the story progresses, we discover that God moved invisibly behind the scenes to prepare his heart to receive her message.

If we don’t remember that only God changes hearts, we may speak too quickly because we’re trying to change someone. Or we may not speak at all because we’re convinced the situation is impossible and the person won’t listen.

Pray and perhaps fast

Before Esther approached the king, she fasted three days—she didn’t send up an arrow prayer. She asked those close to her to fast too.

Because only God changes hearts, we must pray and sometimes even fast before approaching someone. Bathing a situation in prayer causes us to rely on God to work. It also prepares us for what God might want to change in us.

Make sure the needs of the other person are met first

Dressed in royal robes, Esther stood in the palace’s glittering inner court and waited. Xerxes saw her, was pleased, and held out the gold scepter, thus sparing her life and allowing her to approach. When he asked what she wanted, she didn’t blurt everything out immediately. Instead, she asked him to a banquet where they could feast and then talk. They’d been apart a month, so they needed to reconnect before tackling a tough topic.

She invited him to a relaxing banquet. After dining, the king asked again what she wanted. Perhaps fasting had prepared her so she could sense the time wasn’t right.  She delayed answering and invited him to another banquet the next day, promising to tell the king her wish then. It was between the two banquets that God worked and prepared the king’s heart for her words. The king, unable to sleep, had a record of his reign read to him and so discovered he had never rewarded Esther’s cousin for uncovering a treacherous and treasonous plot.

When we need to speak the truth in love to someone, we should make sure their needs are met first. If the other person’s tired or feeling overworked, it’s not a good time. If either person feels rushed, the moment’s not right—speaking the truth in love requires plenty of uninterrupted time to listen, talk, clarify, and make sure there are no misunderstandings. Meeting their needs shows our intentions come from love.

Speak with love

At the second banquet, Esther waited for the king to ask her what she wanted. When she answered, she didn’t blame him or attack his decisions, even though he was the one who had signed the decree. She didn’t say, “What’s wrong is the way you listen to lame friends and then make stupid decisions!” Instead, she honored him by saying, “If it pleases you.” She respected him by explaining, “I wouldn’t have bothered you if it were just that my people had been sold into slavery.” She stated her desire simply: “Grant me my life and spare my people.” When the king asked who had endangered her life, she pointed to Haman, the instigator of the plot, but not the king.

In the same way, we need to speak to people in a loving, respectful manner, explaining the facts accurately, but without attacking, and making our requests kindly, with an “if it pleases you” attitude.

Then the king asked, “What is it, Queen Esther? What is your request? Even up to half the kingdom, it will be given you.” “If it pleases the king,” replied Esther, “let the king, together with Haman, come today to a banquet I have prepared for him.” ~Esther 5:3-4

Demolished bathroom

A slab leak pushed a bathroom remodel ahead of other projects in 2005

Five book ideas competed for my attention like auditioning dancers. All seemed exciting, but working with any would be daunting. And then there was the completed Bible study guide that had been well received at two churches. Should I submit it to a publisher? That meant creating a blog—another time consumer.

I thumbed through my black leather Bible’s pages to the Old Testament book of Nehemiah. You see, Nehemiah knew how to tackle a difficult project.

The book begins with Nehemiah in a fortress of Susa (in modern-day Iran), his brother having just told him that their fellow Jews were in great trouble and disgrace. About 140 years earlier Babylon had broken down Jerusalem’s walls, burned its gates and buildings, taken its treasures, and exiled the inhabitants.  A Jewish remnant eventually returned and rebuilt a temple and homes. But the city still lacked walls to protect it from enemies.

Nehemiah wept for his people. He wanted to help. But he had a fulltime, prestigious position as cupbearer to the Persian King Artaxerxes. The king trusted him to serve him wine that wasn’t poisoned, something Nehemiah ensured by drinking first. He had the king’s confidence and ear. It wasn’t the kind of job one could choose to quit.

Nehemiah took five steps as he contemplated what to do about Jerusalem’s need.

First, for days he fasted and prayed, mourning over the need and confessing his sins and those of his people. He offered himself as a servant to God, willing to help how he could.

Second, Nehemiah devised a plan. He wanted to go to Jerusalem and rebuild its walls. He calculated what he would need and how to get it. He estimated the time it would take. He did not, however, waste time planning particulars that wouldn’t matter if the plan were nixed.

Third, he picked a day to present his plan to the king. He didn’t wait around anxiously pondering endless what-if scenarios. He set right to finding out if God was going to bless this venture.

Fourth, when the day came, Nehemiah asked God to grant him favor before Artaxerxes, the person with the power to say yes or no—and who had decreed previously the walls not be rebuilt (Ezra 4:21).

Nehemiah was ready when the opportunity came suddenly: when he brought the king his wine, the king asked him why he seemed sad.

Finally, despite his fear, Nehemiah seized the opportunity and told Artaxerxes what was on his heart. The king asked what he wanted. Nehemiah prayed again and asked for a leave of absence to rebuild the city. Then he laid out his plan.

Artaxerxes granted his request. That’s when Nehemiah knew God had answered YES!

I considered Nehemiah’s five steps carefully:

  1. Seeking God through fasting, prayer, confession and willingness
  2. Devising a plan
  3. Setting a date to present the plan
  4. Asking God to grant favor
  5. Seizing opportunity despite fear

I had done step 1. I’d gotten stuck on step 2 by planning unnecessary details. So I dropped those distractions and set a date to test whether I could manage a blog: if within two weeks I could write five, I’d set a date by which I’d pitch the Bible study guide.

Within five days I wrote eight blogs.

November is my goal for presenting a proposal for the guide.

What about you? Are you contemplating a move, seeking a new job, pursuing a new passion? At which step are you now? Which step is usually most difficult for you?

“When I heard these things, I sat down and wept. For some days I mourned and fasted and prayed before the God of heaven.” ~Nehemiah 1:4 (NIV)

Next: Nehemiah thwarts mockers.